MikeSingletary

tfw no jewish gf

Background
Mike Singletary was raised in a small town in southwest Ohio on the outskirts of Cincinnati. As a child, Mike received a lot of love and attnetion from his parents, which shaped him into the low-test beta that he is today. At the tender age of 12, Mike received his first computer (a shitty hand-me-down from his father) with internet. Spending most of his time fapping to pictures of Jennifer Aniston on google images, Mike began to explore what the internet had to offer. At the age of 15, Mike discovered what he thought at the time was a epic seekrit internet club full of racism and lulz. Mike spent the next few years bouncing between boards, mainly /b/, /mu/, and occasionally, /o/.

After leaving for college in the fall of 2010, he spent a majority of his time watching sports on his roommate's TV. Mike had enjoyed sports before, but had never had access to watching them live until then. Mike became obsessed with sports, and even discovered 4chan had a sports board, /sp/. While on /sp/ one cold december evening, he saw a thread for an online game he had never heard before known as "Haxball". He decided to give it a shot, operating under the name "JesusChristBalls". Mike instantly fell in love with the game, and evenmoreso with the banter. Mike continued to play off and on through the next year or so, only to take a hiatus throughout what are now known in the hax world as the "golden era".

Mike became a regular once again in the summer of 2013, and has remained as such.

Play Style
Mike is and has been seen as one of the more poorly skilled players in Haxball. His play style is characterized by spastic, irregular movements coupled with a touch so bad it is a registered sex offender in 45 states. Where Mike lacks in skill, he attempts to make up with his overzealous charging of the ball which results in getting drobbled worse than most.

Haxball Abilities

 * None